


Make me lighter, make me sleepier.

by Saddestrenchcoat



Series: The Heaven they deserve [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean can't sleep without his angel, M/M, Sharing a Bed, they are dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:35:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28010079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saddestrenchcoat/pseuds/Saddestrenchcoat
Summary: ‘It shouldn’t be this hard’, Dean thinks as he tries to find a comfortable position, getting exasperated at himself. He has done this plenty of times with strangers before, shouldn’t it be even easier with the person he loves?-Continuation of Heaven is brightness (when you're there).
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: The Heaven they deserve [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2041756
Comments: 1
Kudos: 45





	Make me lighter, make me sleepier.

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my first tongue, so I'm sorry for any grammar mistake you may find!

Dean stays at the end of the bed, playing with his sleeves as he tries to organize his thoughts.

It shouldn’t be that hard, he ponders, they’ve already done plenty of intimate things such as kissing, holding hands, dancing together… so why should he feel weird about wanting Castiel to lie next to him? It was stupid; of course Dean should be able to enjoy the angel’s reassurance at any moment of the day, they were lovers after all.

But still…

The ex hunter groaned, throwing his body backwards upon the bed, heart bumping hard against his chest.

 _‘Why am I like this?’_ he reprimands at himself, looking at the ceiling as it would resolve his situation.

After a sigh, Dean closes his eyes tiredly.

“Castiel,” he begins loudly. “I need you here, please.”

It doesn’t take more than a few seconds for Dean to hear a pair of wings fluttering at his side.

“Dean, what’s wrong?” the angel asks, worry present in his voice.

The human raises his body quickly, looking him in the eye.

“Hey, relax,” he mutters as he takes the angel’s hand between his. “I just wanted to see you.”

“But you never call this late,” he points out.

“I know,” Dean concedes, swallowing. “But I couldn’t sleep, and I was wondering if... you could stay, maybe?”

The angel’s blue eyes spark visibly confusion for a moment, and the human refuses to acknowledge the blood rushing to his face as a blush.

“I’m sorry, you must be really busy, we can forget about –”

“It’s okay, you just caught me off guard,” he rushes to say, scratching his neck. “Of course I’d love to spend the night with you,” the human cringes at the choice of words, but lets him continue. “Besides, I wasn’t doing anything important.”

Dean nods silently as they keep looking at each other, unsure about how to proceed.

“You can’t sleep with this,” he finally says, playing with the trench coat. “Why don’t you grab something more comfortable of my wardrobe?”

Castiel squeezes his arm as an affirmation, walking towards the furniture to do as he was told. He puts special attention to the amount of clothing gathered inside, until finally deciding for a pair of grey sweatpants and a blue navy t-shirt.

In the meantime, Dean crawls backward to the headboard so he can follow his lover’s actions from there. He knows he made the right choice when his throat goes dry, Castiel starting to undress in front of him, layers sliding against slightly tanned skin.

He can’t help but put special attention to every inch of the skin he gets to see from his place, fully satisfied when the angel finally ends putting on his shirt.

Dean whistles while Cas folds carefully his previous outfit before placing it on a chair. “Better, isn’t it?”

The angel hums, walking towards the bed. “It feels more adequate, yes.”

Seeing that Castiel doesn’t have any intention of giving the next steps, Dean takes his hands to drag him at his side, both awkwardly laying a few inches away.

“Can you turn off the lights?” he requires, hoping it’ll erase the tension of the air.

The human watches in awe when Castiel raises his hand to make a little movement directed to the light switch, turning it off.

“That’s awesome.”

Castiel frowns, turning his head a little to observe Dean.

“You’ve seen me doing this before.”

“Well yeah,” he concedes. “But every time I get to see you as Matilda it’s just so cool.”

He smiles softly at the reference and they stay silent, submerged on the darkness of the bedroom.

 _‘It shouldn’t be this hard’,_ Dean thinks as he tries to find a comfortable position, getting exasperated at himself. He has done this plenty of times with strangers before, shouldn’t it be even easier with the person he loves?

“I’m sorry,” Castiel says suddenly and Dean stops moving, turning to face him.

“Why?” he asks confused.

The angel’s tongue peeps out of his lips, blue eyes unsure and bright. Dean thinks Cas looks particularly handsome tonight, body floating on his clothes and dark hair laying messily above his forehead.

“I’m not… used to this.”

Suddenly, the room feels heavy on the ex-hunter’s shoulders, guilty running through his head. He nods and taps his fingers anxiously on the mattress, eyes travelling behind Castiel’s frame.

When he feels his fingers stop because of a warm hand taking his, he looks at the other’s eyes, surprised, before tighten the hold. He wasn’t expecting it at all to be honest. Castiel seems to read his mind and moves closer.

“I’ve noticed you like holding hands when you feel upset,” he simply says, stretching a little.

“I’ve always done it,” Dean murmurs as his thumb draws imaginary circles on Castiel’s skin. “Especially when I… used to have sex,” there’s no hurt on his features as he’d have expected, but curiosity that encourages him to keep talking. “I guess I’d do it to feel less alone, like those people could mean something to me. And I can just realize it now, they’d never feel right because they weren’t someone I loved, they weren’t… you,” he finishes, pulling their hands closer to kiss his angel’s knuckles.

“You can’t get reassurance without love,” Castiel muses as he watches Dean’s free hand move shyly towards him, finally placing on his lower back.

“Well, I do have both now.”

Dean’s green eyes sparkle in the darkness and the angel can’t help feeling peace at just admiring them. Before he thinks too much about it, he ventures his other hand to the ex hunter’s face, touching the soft freckled skin and getting a pleased sigh from his lover. Castiel bits his lower lip, wondering if he should keep talking.

He needs to know, and it’s not every day you get Dean Winchester comfortable enough to talk about his feelings.

“When we encountered here in heaven, you said something…” he starts softly, moving his fingers to Dean’s baby hair near his ear. “About loving me since we met for the first time.”

Dean hums, sinking further onto the pillow with his eyes closed.

He remains silent for a few moments and Castiel is afraid that the human might have fallen asleep. He discards that thought when Dean opens his eyes again and bends his legs slightly.

“The handprint,” he whispers sleepily. “It burned like mad when you entered that barn. And I should have been scared of you, but I just felt… uneasy around you, like I couldn’t help something.”

“Couldn’t help what?”

Dean moves further until his nose touches Castiel’s neck, sighing at the warmness.

“I didn’t know instantly, not until I began noticing things at least,” Dean continues, venturing his fingers inside Cas shirt to feel his skin, darting his fingers slowly through the back. “I craved for you all the time, Cas,” he confesses. “All my hook ups started feeling weird, like they were wrong. Every time I felt lonely, my thoughts ended wrapping around you. I couldn’t stand seeing you upset, so I’d always try to make things easier for you. And I didn’t believe in miracles, God, or any of that shit but…” he pauses, moving away to connect their gazes. “But I did believe in you, with every piece of me. And if I began also believing in me, it was because of you.”

Dean gasps surprised when the angel closes his mouth against his, wet lips being immediately parting to give Castiel the space to deepen the kiss, their tongues greeting desperately.

The human groans at the hungry movements, wrapping his arms around Castiel’s neck to get impossibly closer while the angel settles above him, hands firmly pressed against the other’s cheekbone.

When the air gets almost inexistent in his lungs, Dean draws away breathing heavily along Castiel, appreciating his swollen lips.

“You changed me too, Cas,” he whispers, stroking his hair. “I wanted to be better for you.”

The angel nods, soothing his lover’s forearm where he laid his hand on him for the first time. Dean throws his head backwards wanting to melt in the moment, tiredness appropriating of his body.

“I love you,” he murmurs when Castiel lies above his chest half hugging him, face hidden in the other’s neck as their legs entwine lazily.

Dean automatically embraces him, getting sleepier with every hot breath the angel takes against his pulse.

“I love you too, Dean.”

The angel doesn’t even notice when he falls asleep hearing his lover’s heartbeat against his hear.


End file.
